September 1st, 2010
Today was awful! I was awakened abruptly by my proprietor, Elizabeth Hartwig; I was all warm and cozy in my dappled quiescent case. She pulled me out, her hand slipped, and I plummeted onto the floor. She picked me up, and started to strangle me! She was taking notes or something. I looked up at her teacher and recognized that it was Ms. Smart. I knew this since my innocent carcass had been squeezed to scribe the words, “Ms. Smart”. My owner doesn’t even care about me. She wrote a narrative about an unintelligent, irrelevant, “French” fry that lies about his identity, “French” fries actually came from Belgium. She cared enough about him to write a story, when I am just a petty nonentity? Am I that mind-numbing? I always felt beautiful; while most pencils are yellow, I am aureate.
Next we went to a class called “Christian Worldview” which was terrible; she kept pushing my neck, until finally, the lead in my head broke. I thought to myself, “Finally I can get some shuteye” And then to my horror, she shaved my head! She took out her pencil razor, and just buzzed me clean! I was going to be the laughing stock of the pencil case! By this time, I had a gargantuan headache, if only she could give it a massage! When all this was happening, was there any sympathy? No! She just kept putting pressure on me! It was dreadful. Finally she put away her notebook and me. Time for a little amount of sleep, I thought to myself as she put me in my slumbering case. No sooner had she put me away then one of her friends said, “Hey Libbi, your next class is in this room too, right?” My heart sank as Libbi said,” Hey! You’re right!”
To my delight, her friend asked if she could borrow a pencil, I was so excited, finally someone who didn’t push me so hard! It was so stimulating! She pressed lightly on me, and had perfect handwriting. After a while though, I began to think, have these people even learned how to spell? I wanted to tell Libbi’s friend that “survey” is spelled with an “e”. Unfortunately, no one regarded my guidance, and alas, I was returned to my owner; although pushy, an impeccable speller.
We had arrived at Human Anatomy class; I had been dreading this all day. Not only does she have to illustrate cells and nuclei, she colors them in too! What did this mean for me? More pressure, more sharpening, and all the enormous circles made me nauseous. She started with a circular cell, and then a globular nucleus, and a spherical organelle, I winced while I felt the dizziness coming on. What did she do next? She started rapidly circling her homework assignment. And she kept circling, and circling, and circling. All the while I’m feeling more nauseous, and more nauseous. What is she trying to do to me? All of a sudden she turns me upside down to wipe off one of her errors. That was the final straw. However, it is hard to have a final straw when you’re only 7 inches tall, and growing more petite by the minute. So I just frowned and went on with it. Then, My master heard her teacher say,”Lunchtime”, and she shoved me, along with her notebook and other omnifarious school supplies into her backpack. Fortunately for me, I fell out of her backpack, which meant I would have one week of absolute freedom, Yippee! Then again, I’m a bit jealous of the computer she is probably using for her assignments. In truth, it hasn’t been the worst day a pencil could have. In fact, I think I will miss being used, I feel so, useless! Oh well. At least it’s only a week!